My Little Problem

from by Precious Child

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about

The story behind this song is a little unusual for me. Typically, I put together song lyrics from my poems and my journals, taking bits and pieces from various narratives to weave something new. Occasionally however, songs come to me spontaneously in entirety: I had a vision of myself as a private ocean with my waking daily mind and life floating on top of the waves. I dived beneath and looked up and saw the light shimmering beautifully, but I had to hold my breath and swim down towards my home because it was flooded at the bottom of the sea. As the water crushed my body, I felt myself dying. In that fading moment I heard a voice that told me I could make a deal. It told me that I could have freedom but only at a price. I could be my own master and control my destiny but the price was that I would also be enslaved to myself. I could reach my home and freedom, but I not if I stayed on the surface, with the sun warming all the pain out of my body and mind. I took the deal.

The song and story are a clear metaphor for the most potent experience of my life which is a common subject in my lyrics. When I was young I never cried; I repressed and internalized my feelings until I was 17 years old. When growing up, I experienced a lot of abuse, loneliness, and resultantly, hatred of myself and of the world. When my feelings surfaced, I had to make a choice- to stay numb and live a plastic life, or embrace myself no matter how much it hurt. I decided to become whole, and to be honest with my feelings and search for and merge with my shadow self. I eventually did make myself whole, but as my vision of the song promised, I’ve am my own master and the one enslaved by myself. This story could also be considered to be one of self-liberation. It may sound trite, but one can’t find freedom if one hasn’t found oneself. The last part of my background story is that at 17, I also decided that I was going to dedicate my life to art. First as a painter, then as sculptor, then as a singer, then as a songwriter and performing artist. Art can be personal and it also can be impersonal. As you may guess, my art is very personal and it has been absolutely essential to my journey. Furthermore, as an artist, I have found my place in the world. I believe that it is my social obligation to help people feel, to understand themselves, to help people feel understood, to inspire the determination, to show them magic, to feed their imaginations, to help them transgress their limitations and to transcend.

I hope this background will help you enjoy the track a little more than you might have otherwise.

lyrics

Down from my eyes
World alive inside me
Bright now capsized
World I sent away

On my little waters
Darker than the sea
Master of all my feelings
Please protect me

I will arise
With or without what's me
Life won't tread on me
Life won't keep me still

Chorus---
I have a way there is a way,
you'll be the master,
you'll be the slave
You’ll be the one that takes it away,
I'll be the one that gives you today

My little problem
with feeling pain
Every time I try
it’s not there again

I've bled too much
For the weakest answer
I have my strength
I have my mind

In my life I'm living
I don't even want hope
I want the sea to hold me
I'll just swim away

If I can't have
Escape from all that harms me
I know the answer
I will free the slave

-chorus

Life of waters
One I never answered
One I always needed
One I put below me

Why would I choose
To discard my only answer
I couldn't take it
I still can't at all

If I had a loophole
If I had the easy way
I wouldn't do this
I would drown it all

credits

from Bloody Knees, released April 28, 2014

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Precious Child Los Angeles, California

Arresting and surreal, Precious Child’s prolific body of work exists at the convergence of body horror, conceptual art and experimental pop. Working with the medium of music and video, the Los Angeles-based artist culls sonic inspiration from glossy mainstream pop, cacophonous industrial and metal to create work that confronts transformations in identity, perception and the nature of existence. ... more

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